只要有决心，铁条可以变成针 [20/11/2014]

I'm working now but I just want to write something here and put this as a reminder to myself. It’s been a while that I have neglected this blog. Not because I have no time to write, maybe because I don’t have the heart to write anymore.

This journey of my life is getting tougher and tougher. Sometimes this road making me felt is like a puzzle, every so often I got no clue of the way and I felt so lost. Perhaps, time could be the best cure and best solution now. I need time to heal and to guard myself up for all things. I hope everything will be settle real soon.

Life hasn’t been easy for me since started this relationship. A person that giving me tremendous stress. But I know the beginning of every good thing is always been the hardest. I believe and have faith in myself that my future will be bright and glow. Everything will be worth all the effort and time I have put in. Yes, I know I have the strength / more strength than other people.

Life is just like running, today I will run 2km, tomorrow I will run 5km and day after tomorrow I will run 10km and subsequently 10km is just piece of cake to me. Persistence is the thing that I need, I have to control my mind, control my body, and control my soul. Let’s not let myself procrastinate anymore. A lasting happiness cannot be bought and I must work hard to achieve it.

I put myself into God’s hand. I hope the God’s hand will protect me and brings me to a place that full of peace and joy.

Prayer to help out on my Financial stress~♡

Dear Lord, this is the first time I am praying for financial help. You know what I need before I pray to you. I turn to you today and ask that you guide me in the direction that will lead me to financial relief and stability. Please help me out of my never ending financial stress. It wasn't my problem but someone is causing me this problem. The past two years have been tough on me and now I've hit a new low. I'm struggling to keep my head up again. I'm in desire need of help. Please help me gain control again so I can make a comfortable life again.  I just want a peaceful life, but my finances give me no hope. It's hurting my spirits in some ways. Please, Lord, hear my prayer for help. Amen!

I almost collapsed and fainted in the office last week (17 April 2013)

Sorry, this is so long. This is only about a half of what I want to share actually. I’m so struggled nowadays if you know. Mama is going through chemotherapy and her antibody is getting weaker and weaker now. I felt so uncomfortable every day because I can’t do anything to help, besides supporting and “keep praying” !!! 

2 days later, which is [11 April 2013 Thursday]

Sister called and told me Jim “my dog” is going to die. She said he is very very very sick, his legs were trembling all the time and having a high fever. I'm really exhausted, I kneel on the floor and tears keep falling from my eyes.

My sight got more blurry and I thought I was going to faint. I tried to close my both eyes and putting my forehead on my hand on the table. The burdens on my shoulder are like never go away?

I knew God planned every day for me. I believe he will make a way for me but, I’m so tired and I’m so afraid of things now. I am worn-out for keep crying recently.

Two days after, which is [13 April 2013 Saturday]

when I got home I saw mama so sick, Jim is so skinny and left only bones. Well, they seem happy to see me again and Jim welcome me. Although he doesn’t have energy, but he was trying hard to walked near me. I tried my very best of the night taking care of him; giving him the best care I could to make him feel better at least? I carried him the whole night, to eat, to drink to pee, to everywhere he wants to go and to do things he wants to do.

I can’t continue anymore. Wish all these happened are just a dream, hope I can wake up tomorrow...

Never ending! (02 April 2013)

Can you teach me how to endure this endless “bad luck” that happening to me?

Why I feel like the “bad luck” is attached to my body?

Like never ending stories?

Or anybody is cursing me now?

Never knew one small issue can lead to one and another and become a big problem.

Why do I have so many “why” from day one of 2013?

Phew, never mind, better luck next time.

*Finger Crossed*

God Bless Me!

Never mind, here I wishing you

*prosperity*

*good health*

*may everything works out as you wished*

and

 *long life of 100 years*  Ooo..!!!

Give Thanks to You Lord (13 Mar 2013)

Hello to all of my friends,

I would love to thank you to all my friends that giving me supports and all the positive advice during my miserable moments. Your supports are so important to me. Even a small deed but have become a very big favor to me. I appreciate all of your kindness and concerned towards me and my family. Thank you.

I’m here to give you an update of my mama. I happy to say that mama’s surgeries were successful. Besides the breast area, only the lymph nodes have another big tumor and 28 small ones, but all had been removed. She is still on wounds recovering stage and thank you God for all the blessing and strengths upon mama. By the time she fully recovered. She will need to go for chemotherapy for 6 times and I hope these 6 times wouldn’t harm her body. *Pray hard*

Dear Lord, I just want to thank you for hearing my prayers and answered them one by one. Thank you for helping me all the time when I am lost and you stretch out your hand for me to hold and I know you will never let me down. You never once failed to answer my prayers. You always know what is best for me and what is not. Thank you so much, you’re awesome and I love you.